How To Date Like A Woman: How To Get Back Together With Your Ex:
- Find every opportunity to contact him when something reminds you of your relationship
- To keep you fresh in his mind, constantly apologize for the little things you did wrong during the relationship “just wanted to say sorry for throwing a hissy fit at blockbuster after we got jack in…
Peace Out
The time is come where I am ready to move out of me and Yolanda’s humble aboad. I will miss the wonderful memories we shared and my once unfurnished apartment. I’d like to say thank you to all my followers for making my living situation a little more tolerable. and a BIG shoutout to my new roomie who took Yolanda’s place. Thank you for being normal, chill, understandable, and fun :) Although I will be leaving behind funny stories, yolanda has still left her mark and we will never forget her
the ceiling of my kitchen of when Yolanda and my friends had a friendly water/alcohol fight
http://roomie4sale.tumblr.com/post/21702844644/champagne-showers
I have learned a lot from the Yolanda experience and I hope that people who have read this from the start have realized one thing: DON’T ROOM WITH A RANDOM FROM CRAIGSLIST.
I’ve also dabbled in one of my passions of writing and I want to continue doing it
Follow my new blog: www.datelikeawoman.tumblr.com
(THANK GOD I’M GETTING THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!)
Love you all :)
XOXO Sabrina
Anonymous asked: I am not going to deny that I found this blog really funny at first as well, but publishing emails she sent to someone, likely under the assumption that only he was going to read them, is crossing the line. I understand wanting to get her back for everything she's done to you but don't you think that's just mean, especially given she knows the blog exists?
No.
Anonymous asked: Can you post a picture of Yolanda? I think I've encountered her and I want to share my story. It's ridiculous!
Hey I can’t legally show a picture of her, but share your story anyways!
Subject: Honestly to God, this is why I acted like a bitch to you, because you were DENYING ME TO THE PUBLIC AND FUCKING ME BEHIND CLOSED DOORS YOU TWO FACED MOTHER FUCKER!!!! I FUCKEN HATE YOU!!
In honor of finals week, here is one of the last psycho emails from Yolanda
Date: Sat, May 29, 2010 at 1:32 AM
Subject: Honestly to God, this is why I acted like a bitch to you, because you were DENYING ME TO THE PUBLIC AND FUCKING ME BEHIND CLOSED DOORS YOU TWO FACED MOTHER FUCKER!!!! I FUCKEN HATE YOU!!
Subject: GOD DAMN YOU!!
Date: Fri, May 21, 2010 at 11:21 AM
Subject: GOD DAMN YOU!!
I MISSED MY UC DAVIS APPOINTMENT FOR TODAY!!!!!! BECAUSE OF YOU!!!! YOU DELETED MY FUCKEN APPOINTMENTS AND EVERYTHING ON MY PHONE!! I CALLED TO ASK AND THEY WERE LIKE.. IT WAS THIS MORNING AT 9AM!!!!!! I AM SO FUCKEN UPSET RIGHT NOW! I RESCHEDULED JUNE 1ST AT 8:30AM!!!!
And I have to go to sign up for summer school and I have to find all my W-2’s and ask my friend that works for UC Davis to do them soon, so the money gets here BEFORE summer fees are due. Fucken shit!!! you are partially to blame!! You couldn’t have waited till I was in school to end this bullshit!
30 MINUTES LATER…..
Date: Fri, May 21, 2010 at 11:50 AM
Subject: I’m sad and hurt
But I still love you. And if you ever came back to me even if it was just for sex, I would still be here. I just know you were my last. I won’t be dating thru college, just want to graduate and THEN get married after college.
Confusion
Sorry for any confusion, all the previous emails, and posts from now on are from Yolanda’s ex that were forwarded to me. I will post a new one every week
Subject: I lied too
Date: Wed, May 19, 2010 at 12:39 PM
Subject: I lied too
About how I was controlling you. I wanted to make you suffer because you made me suffer saying you didn’t love me yet you just wouldn’t leave. So I began to “act” very jealous and pretended like every girl wanted a piece of you, and I started to ask you NOT to look at girls which if you think about it is impossible, cuz half the population is female. I was just doing all that cuz I was mad that you wouldn’t admit to everyone that you liked me, so to “punish” you I became excessively jealous.
But that is not how I am, I was pretending. If you think for a second, it takes too much effort to be doing that ALL THE TIME! And if you noticed it, sometimes I even forgot!
I am not jealous actually, I just wanted to PUNISH YOU. I’m the type of girl who dates the popular guys with LOTS OF FRIENDS, GET IT? My ex and I always had friends around us. All my cheerleading friends knew him. His buddies were always with him like 20 guys, I still know and talk to them all.
I work in a restaurant, I am a people person, I love people. I want to have parties at my place and invite people over.
I just ACTED DIFFERENT WITH YOU, just to get back at you for making me feel stupid for saying you didn’t like me when you did.
Just think, just STOP AND THINK. When we met, was I like that? Where do I come from? San Diego, and what have I done all my life? Cheerleading (people person), Waitress (People person), runner ( part of a team), moved a lot ( I can adjust to people fast), look at my Facebook ( over 300 people that I know), look at my xmas vacation, I hadn’t seen my friends for YEARS AND LOOK HOW FAST THEY SCOOPED ME UP TO GO CLUBBING.
I am not jealous or controlling. I was acting out. So if that is why you don’t love me then you got fooled. I lied to you too. And I do have friends and they feel horrible cuz I blocked them off because of you. You were a full time job. Now I’m gonna go back to being myself again. No more acting jealous and controlling. It was an act!!! Cuz you annoyed me for being such 2 faced!!! Like Dennis said, who by the way just called me and I said to him that I would finish this e-mail and call him back. See even ur friends are my friends.
Don’t be dumb, I was acting like that, can’t you see? Its not humanely possible for ANYONE to be so jealous and so controlling, come on!! Where you look?? I can’t control that!!! Think about it, how will I know where you looked when I am at work? Or school? Or anywhere? I CAN NOT!!! I was just getting back at you, seriously. Okay now I have to go pick up the pieces of my life bye!
Subject: there is a God and he will punish you
Date: Sat, May 29, 2010 at 1:41 AM
Subject: there is a God and he will punish you
you will meet the perfect girl and she will not be jealous or possessive in fact she will let you do whatever you want, and never question you and in return she will expect you to do the same.
Then one day you will find out she has a lot of “friends” who happen to be male. But you being a trusting boyfriend will say nothing to her and with time you will notice she hangs out with them a lot when you are not around.
Then people will ask her if she has a boyfriend and she might say she does and that those other guys are “nothing” to her just friends, but behind your back she will be sucking each and every one of their dicks and sitting on each and every one of their dicks as well, and when you ask her if there is something between them and her she will tell you : ” I don’t like these guys, we are nothing, just friends” because her definition of NOTHING is the same as yours!!!
So yes you and I are NOTHING!!!!! and your payback is that the girl of your dreams will also have friends who are NOTHING!!!!
Anonymous asked: i can't stop laughing... "Because I got balls!!!! DOUBLE THE SIZE OF YOURS!!!!!! My balls are up in my chest and they will only get bigger to breast feed my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and "AND WEAK PEOPLE DON’T SURVIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH SHARKS LIKE ME." The mid-sentence exclamation points really kill me.
English major…just sayin
Subject: BALD PEOPLE!!!!!! END UP ALONE OR WITH SOME GHETTO OLD LADY LIKE YOUR MOM!!!
Date: Wed, May 19, 2010 at 11:05 AM
Subject: Re: BALD PEOPLE!!!!!! END UP ALONE OR WITH SOME GHETTO OLD LADY LIKE YOUR MOM!!!
AND another thing, you will be bald and no girl will like you, and no girl likes a foreign guy with an accent who can’t speak well, which is what you are, and yes you will marry some GOLD DIGGER like your FUCKEN MOTHER, she too (your wife) will be ghetto as fuck!!! Desprate for pennies and will only be with you to save herself from poverty, except you will end up poor also!!!! History repeats itself and you come from poor you will be poor!!! It takes BALLS!!!!! A LOT OF COURAGE AND A LOT OF RISK TO BE RICH AND POWERFUL LIKE I WILL BE!!!!!! And you got none!!!!!! You have no balls!!! Your parents have your balls stuck in their throats!!!!!!! They will never HELP YOU!!!! They will BRING YOU DOWN!!!!! With their narrow minds and stupidness and eventuallly you will believe everything they say no matter how absurd and old fashioned it is and you will loose everything you worked so hard for and you will end up and OLD GROWN MAN, still responding to your FUCKEN MOTHER in a basement somewhere in Ukraine, living off your parents CRUMS!!!!!!!
People that are successful stand up for themselves, make their OWN decisions, take risk, and have a lot of COURAGE!!!! You LACK!!!!! ALL OF THE ABOVE!!! You will let your parents make all the decisions and they will dig you into the ground!!!!!!!! You will never mature, grow up or LEARN TO THINK FOR YOURSELF, and one day THEY WILL DIE AND YOU WILL END UP HOMELSS AND ALONE!!!!! BECAUSE YOU CAN NOT MAKE IT ON YOUR OWN!!! YOU ARE WEAK!!!!! AND WEAK PEOPLE DON’T SURVIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH SHARKS LIKE ME.
SHARKS ARE RICH AND THEY ARE SMART AND THEY GET AHEAD IN LIFE!!!! You will be bald, and poor and end up with some stupid, deceitful Ukrainian old lady like your mother who will control your childrens lifes and never let them be independent and grow up.
You will fail because you have crutches holding you up, YOUR FUCKEN PARENTS, and guess what??? People on crutches can’t run and will definately NEVER FLY!!!!!
I will do more with my life EVEN WITH A BABY!!!!!! Because I got balls!!!! DOUBLE THE SIZE OF YOURS!!!!!! My balls are up in my chest and they will only get bigger to breast feed my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I AM A VERY STRONG PERSON AND I WILL FIGHT MY WAY OUT OF THIS AND SUCCEED BECAUSE I WAS BORN A LEADER!!!! NOT A FOLLOWER LIKE YOU. My parents come to ME for help!!!!!
I am the definition of BRAVE AND SUCCEESS!!!! You will see! I don’t need your fucken help!!!! In fact, you will have no parental rights ever, as if this baby doesn’t exist!!!! When WE are rich and powerful you will not come and try to claim this baby!!! I will tell this baby what your mom did to me, what you said and how you left me to my own faith!! You mother fucken pussy!!!!
You will be BALD, unsuccessful in ur business, and end up breast feeding off ur mom’s PUSSY, YES HER PUSSY CUZ YOU ARE TOO SCARED TO COME FROM UNDER HER SKIRT TO REACH HER BOOB!!!!!!
You pussy!!!!! You faggot!!! You must be gay!!!
You are NOT MY TYPE!!!!!
Go to hell w/your bald parents, like you will be!!!!
Anonymous asked: how can we make sure we're not living with this crazy?!!
If you have any doubts, private message me her name and ill let you know if its her or not lol. Also repost the link to your facebook so the word gets out. I never want anyone to go through what I did




